ADA, n. Something you need only know the name of to be an Expert in Computing.
Useful in sentences like, “We had better develop an ADA awareness.”
@
Antonym, n. The opposite of the word you’re trying to think of.
@
Armadillo - To provide weapons to a Spanish pickle.
@
Basic, n. A programming language. Related to certain social diseases in that
those who have it will not admit it in polite company.
@
Bit, n. The quantum of misinformation.
@
Character Density, n. The number of very weird people in the office.
@
Cold, adj. When the local flashers are handing out written descriptions.
@
Commitment, n. Commitment can be illustrated by a breakfast of ham and eggs.
The chicken was involved, the pig was committed.
@
Corrupt, adj. In politics, holding an office of trust or profit.
@
Fairy Tale, n. A horror story to prepare children for the newspapers.
@
Hardware, n. The parts of a computer system that can be kicked.
@
Information Center, n. A room staffed by professional computer people whose job
it is to tell you why you cannot have the information you require.
@
Justice, n. A decision in your favor.
@
Meeting, n. An assembly of people coming together to decide what person or
department not represented in the room must solve a problem.
@
Millihelen, adj. The amount of beauty required to launch one ship.
@
Omnibiblious, adj. Indifferent to type of drink. “Oh, you can get me anything.
I’m omnibiblious.”
@
On-line, adj. The idea that a human being should always be accessible to a
computer.
@
Oregon, n. Eighty billion gallons of water with no place to go on Saturday
night.
@
Peace, n. In international affairs, a period of cheating between two periods of
fighting.
@
Portable, adj. Survives system reboot.
@
Quality Control, n. The process of testing one out of every 1,000 units coming off a production line to make sure that at least one out of 100 units works.
@
Real World, The n.
1. In programming, those institutions at which programming may
be used in the same sentence as FORTRAN, COBOL, RPG, IBM, etc.
2. To programmers, the location of non-programmers and activities
not related to programming.
3. A universe in which the standard dress is shirt and tie and in
which a person’s working hours are defined as 9 to 5.
4. The location of the status quo.
5. Anywhere outside a university. “Poor fellow, he’s left MIT and
gone into the real world.” Used pejoratively by those not in
residence there. In conversation, talking of someone who has
entered the real world is not unlike talking about a deceased
person.
@
Senate, n. A body of elderly gentlemen charged with high duties and
misdemeanors.
@
Write-Protect Tab, n.:
A small sticker created to cover the unsightly notch carelessly
left by disk manufacturers. The use of the tab creates an
error message once in a while, but its aesthetic value far
